“Trini” Wedding with Arabic Influence
JoMaria and Jonas
Pre-wedding Tradition
In the Arab culture, the bridegroom would solicit the permission of the bride’s father before he proposes. Thereafter, a date is set for the “asking”, where his family goes to the bride-to-be’s house to ask her family to consent to the union.
Thirty-five members of Jonas’ family arrived at JoMarie’s house with a cart filled with bread and fruits to signify the breaking of bread between two families. After a dinner feast, the engagement party and wedding was planned.
(The Wedding)
Itinerary
The bride’s agenda on the morning of the wedding included the Blessed Sacrament and Confession with her family (which provided her a sense of peace for the day). Thereafter, bridesmaids arrived at her house and groomsmen at Jonas’ house. The bridal party proceeded to the church, and finally to the reception after a quick detour at an aunt’s house to take photographs.
Dress, shoes and jewellery
JoMarie bought her Vera Wang dress from Ever After boutique in Miami. It was the first dress she tried on; she fell in love with its simple sweetheart bodice and ballroom skirt with individually ruched silk organza and tulle bunches. Her shoes, with its tulle and organza front, perfectly complemented her dress. Her earrings were “something borrowed” from her godfather’s wife.
Theme
The couple wanted an earthy, natural and elegant indoor garden affair. They used bamboo chevalier chairs and lots of white, draped fabric, key lighting and strategically placed garden statues with floral baskets and arrangements.
Decor/Flowers
The bride’s bouquet, arranged by Sandra Debs, comprised vendela roses; the bridesmaids each held a bouquet of mango calla lilies (which complemented their golden dresses); the groomsmen wore mango calla lily boutonnieres. The church was decked in hydrangea roses, spider mums, bells of Ireland and white carnations.
The wedding reception décor comprised centerpieces elevated on glass pedestal martini glasses with white dendrobium orchids imported from Indonesia. The head table was adorned with orchids, roses and anthuriums. The corridor leading to the ballroom was transformed into a magical secret garden with hanging vines and trellises. Fresh flowers and foliage were used throughout.
Cake
The five-tier wedding fruitcake was designed by the bride’s mother and mother-in-law to complement her gown; the designers’ vision was executed by Ann Whitby.
Food
Guests were greeted with a mezze spread on their table with assorted items such as hummus, kibbe, raw kibbe, Arabic cheese, pickles, nuts and bread. A buffet styled dinner comprised sushi, a seafood bar, shrimp, mushroom ravioli, pork tenderloin, and stuffed chicken with spinach. The desserts contained an array of pitted dates (stuffed with orange peel, almonds and pistachios), jelly fruits, imported Arabic sweets, chocolates and colorful macaroons.
Music
The couple opted for drumbaki (Arabic) drumming in addition to their disk jockey. The bridal party entered the reception ballroom to the sounds of both Arabic music and drumming.
(Point of View)
What were the most memorable moments?
JoMarie: My bridesmaids were lifting my dress and singing, “We’re going to the chapel and we’re going to get married” as we walked to the car which would take us to the church. I started to cry as the reality that this was my wedding day sunk in.
Walking into the reception, with my husband and the bridal party, to Arabic drums, and waving handkerchiefs, was a moment that I would never forget. This is also the moment where the bride is welcomed into the groom’s family.
During an interlude my mother had my cousin sing Martina McBride’s I Hope You Dance as a surprise to me. This was very heartfelt and touching. I would also never forget dancing with my father and looking over to see Jonas dancing with his mother.
The most sentimental moment?
JoMarie: Our four grandmothers carried the Offertory at the church; it was extremely special to us to have all four grandmothers present as our grandfathers have passed away, and not many couples can boast this honour.
What were the most unique things about your wedding?
JoMarie: We wanted our wedding to reflect our Trinidadian and Syrian/Lebanaese cultures so we included a Chow bar, an Arabic coffee bar, an argyle/hookah station with Arabian rugs and couches as well as doubles (which came out later in the night after the party got under way). Another unique element was a picture slide show of what happened that day, before the wedding (my bridesmaids and I getting ready as well as Jonas and his groomsmen), as you don’t usually get to see this taking place.
- Published in Real Weddings
An Elegant “I Do” in Tobago!
Alaric and Ngozi
The Wedding
Venue
The ceremony was held at St. Joseph’s R.C. Church, Scarborough, with the reception at Brash Villa, Mt. Irvine, Tobago. The grounds of the villa were beautifully lush and full of character, thanks to the Spanish-influenced architecture. The swimming pool—of great significance to Ngozi, Nigerian Olympic swimmer—provided a serene glow, while the unobstructed view of the Buccoo Reef was simply breathtaking.
Theme & Décor
The couple set out to create an enchanting, romantic, and sophisticated outdoor experience for their wedding. White with vibrant accents of blue and berry—expressed in different elements and luxuriously illuminated—effectively showcased their personal style: minimalist and elegant, with punches of colour. Ngozi and Alaric designed every element of their wedding, with ample help from their family and friends in putting it all together. The entire event was the couple’s ‘DIY labour-of-love’, as almost every aspect of the wedding was emblazoned with personal touches.
Bridal Ensemble
The bride had her dress custom-made at Designer Loft in New York. Designer Elen Paumere created the lace, open-backed, V-neck item with an empire waist, ending with layered lace and chiffon at the bottom. Her shoes were by Calvin Klein and jewelry came from thebridaljewelrystore.com and Akribos.
Quirky Essentials
In line with incorporating splashes of color throughout their wedding, the couple thought that colourful socks for the groom and groomsmen would be a hit. Alaric’s berry-coloured striped socks matched his tie and the lining of his custom-made suit, complementing Ngozi’s berry crystal-accented shoes, flowers and bridesmaids’ hair accessories. The groomsmen’s blue socks balanced their blue-checkered ties, which was well-paired with the bridesmaids’ blue dresses.
Wooden “I am His” and “I am Hers” signs hung at the back of the bride’s and groom’s chairs, and other wooden signs spelling out words such as “Love”, “Dream”, “Laugh”, and “Live” decorated various areas of the venue. The guest book was a unique wooden box containing wooden hearts on which guests could write their wishes.
The favor boxes, accessorized with a blue ribbon and a heart label, each contained a bracelet—as a token of the donation that the couple made to the charity One.org on behalf of their guests—along with Serbian sweets.
Candle holders on the tables and the white Chinese lanterns framing the dance area added a soft, romantic glow to the setting. The couple took advantage of the outdoor setting with its breathtaking views to send berry-coloured lanterns wafting into the sky along with their hopes, prayers, and wishes. It was an absolutely beautiful moment as Alaric and Ngozi each sent off their lanterns, while the guests lit and held sparklers.
Multi-cultural Flavours
This wedding symbolised not only the union of two families, but also the harmonious blending of three cultures: Caribbean (from Alaric’s side), African (Ngozi’s Nigerian roots) and European (Ngozi’s Serbian background). Aside from hosting the wedding in Tobago, the Caribbean isle was also represented in the wedding cake—a traditional black rum fruit creation. Nigeria was represented by a special ceremonial tradition of the Igbo people (Ngozi’s Dad’s tribe): breaking of the kola nut, performed by Ngozi’s Dad at the start of the reception.
Then during the reception, the newlyweds, along with the wedding party and the bride’s parents, changed into traditional Igbo-inspired attire and performed a dance. Serbia was abundantly represented by the sprig of rosemary that adorned every guest on arrival, symbolising good luck, warding off the bad, and bringing the couple fertility. The rosemary sprig was also incorporated into the bride’s bouquet and the groom’s boutonniere. Everyone also had the chance to sample Serbian treats, some of Ngozi’s favorites, as part of the wedding favors.
- Published in Real Weddings
Mexican Wedding Fiesta
Photos by Aaron Dieppa Photography
Pre-Wedding Fun
The couple envisioned a wedding weekend that would significantly incorporate their guests, as all 28 were flying to Mexico to witness their marriage. Thara and Aaron prepared welcome bags for each guest with snacks, games, and even a personal newsletter from the couple! The newsletter included an itinerary for the weekend and suggested activities that guests could enjoy while at the resort: snorkeling, tennis, spa, fishing, kayaking, etc. The wedding guests also got a handmade map of the hotel and surrounding area, a Spanish/English page of phrases, sun hats, and little painted wooden turtles to keep by their bedside with a note that said: “In Mexico, these hand-painted wooden figures are believed to keep bad dreams away”.
The day before the wedding, guests were treated to a ‘tequila tasting’. A representative from a major tequila manufacturer joined them at the resort, explained the process of making tequila, and administered the tasting of different varieties.
The Wedding
Venue
Thara and Aaron chose the extraordinarily beautiful outdoors of the El Careyes Resort for their ceremony and reception—the same place where they got engaged.
Theme & Décor
The couple went with a Mexican theme and wanted to incorporate their personal, simple yet elegant style into all the elements of their wedding and reception. They opted for light orange and light blue as their colour scheme, and created an emblem with their initials, “T&A”, which was used on the wedding invitations, welcome bags, wedding program, and other printed items.
Tall, white umbrellas were set up around the cocktail area for shade, and hanging lanterns lent a soft glow to the setting for their dinner reception at the hotel. The evening ambiance was made even more exquisite with a bonfire.
Program
On the morning of the wedding, after breakfast, Aaron—accompanied by his two groomsmen and a few of the other male guests—went to the Polo grounds. They split themselves into two teams and played a friendly game. The women had their own agenda too: after a tear-jerking champagne toast and light breakfast, they joined together for a private outdoor yoga class overlooking the water. The wedding ceremony itself was in the late afternoon, followed by cocktail hour with a live Mariachi band and canapés (appetizers). The reception with dinner, cake, and dancing brought the unforgettable night to a close.
Tradition
Although neither Thara (Toronto-born, of Guyanese parentage) nor Aaron (born and raised in Indiana) is Mexican, they incorporated one special Mexican wedding tradition into their ceremony. Mothers of the bride and groom both wrapped a lasso of orchids around the couple, symbolic of protecting the love that would bind them together for the rest of their lives.
Bridal Ensemble
Thara’s dress, by designer Jim Hjelm, was an all-lace, V-neck, and very low-back number, and her veil was custom-made by designer Sara Gabriel. Her only jewelry was a pair of earrings—that Aaron had gifted her on one Christmas—and her engagement ring.
Flowers
Orange roses lavishly decorated the top of the white-curtained ceremonial structure under which the couple exchanged vows, and potted flowering plants decorated the border of the area. The lasso used in the ceremony was made of orange orchids. Roses featured prominently in the bouquets: Thara’s had red roses (that were actually supposed to be orange!), and her two bridesmaids (her sisters) carried orange roses mixed with an array of tropical flowers.
Cake
In keeping with the Mexican theme, of course, nothing less than a tres leches cake would do—deliciously created by the hotel chef. The cake topper (ordered from etsy.com) was a custom hand-crafted paper representation of Thara and Aaron, dressed as they were on their wedding day (the bride’s favourite detail of the wedding).
Music
The Mariachi band and a solo guitarist provided the Mexican-flavored music during the cocktail hour and dinner, and everyone danced to the couple’s selected playlist at the reception.
Quirky Essentials
The groom and groomsmen wore chili pepper boutonnières (an idea the couple got from a magazine), and bells, parasols and maracas were all keepsakes for the guests. Thara and Aaron hand-crafted name tags for each guest’s place setting at the dinner table, where they also placed a small bell with a note saying that the newlyweds would kiss anytime a bell rang!
Parasols were set up in baskets so that guests could each take one and use it as sun-shade during the ceremony. Pairs of maracas were also placed in baskets so that guests could take them to shake after the ceremony as the couple walked back down the aisle as husband and wife. As a parting gift, the couple gave guests a hand-painted Mexican Christmas tree ornament (Christmas would have been celebrated in two weeks).
Memorable Moments
One moment that really stands out for the couple was having Aaron’s grandfather perform a reading during the ceremony. Aaron’s grandparents were almost 90 at the time, yet still made the trip for the wedding. After the couple’s first dance during the reception, they played their grandparents’ favorite song…and the once-upon-a-time newlyweds danced alone with everyone watching.
- Published in Real Weddings
Memorable Hindu Wedding!
Yogita and Ramiz
“Putting Away” the Bride
The bride wore two outfits, the traditional red sari, and yellow sari, purchased at Arman’s Bridal Fashions in Jackson Heights, New York. Yogita says, “There was all this jewellery, and my skirt alone was twenty-five pounds; my veil was five pounds in itself. So you have to get someone to put it all together.” Michael Salickram, co-founder and art director of Shiv Shakti dance group, helped her to do just that; he put the bride away as they say.
The Wedding
Yogita comes from a very traditional Hindu family, hence culture and rituals are very important to her. “I wanted that…the actual ceremony…to be the focus of the day. I really wanted people to witness our wedding.” The couple loved the style and flair of western weddings and sought to marry that with tradition. Hence, the marriage rituals were witnessed by guests in a banquet setting, with a reception immediately following. Yogita says, “I did not have a home wedding in the traditional way – I had it at the hall. When you’re (a Hindu woman) getting married you can’t leave the house the day before, so I could not go to the hall to see the decorations; I just had to remind myself to breathe.”
Yogita has been dancing Indian classical dance, one of her greatest passions, for the past twenty-five years. She quips that Ramiz does not enjoy Indian dance and movies as much as she does; his passion is football. Thus there was also a merging of personalities at their wedding, reflected in their unique place cards, where those for the “girl’s side” were named after Indian dancers, whilst those for the “boy’s side” were named after football stadia, such as Old Trafford.
The red and gold colour scheme of the jewelled invitations, the first glimpse into the event, was translated throughout the wedding. A jewelled Indian woman appears on both the invitations for Yogita’s guests as well as the place cards, whilst the counterpart male appears for Ramiz’s guests.
Tradition
The bride walked into the mandap with rice in her hands. Rice in general, in the Hindu tradition, symbolizes prosperity and good fortune. Hence rice is also traditionally showered upon the bride in a celebratory manner. Ramiz was greeted by Yogita’s mom as he entered the wedding venue; in fact, he’s not allowed to enter until he’s greeted by her. Yogita’s brother then washed his feet and ensured that he was comfortable. Traditionally, when a guest comes to your home you honour them by washing their feet.
Ramiz then came out to the marriage area, or mandap, where Yogita’s father greeted him; afterwards the bride entered the wedding hall, to the tune of the Indian song, Tujh Mein Rab Dikhta Hai (I see God in You), accompanied by close family members. The song is special to the bride and groom (it’s the song from the first Indian movie they saw together), who in that moment, saw each other for the first time that day, and sat opposite each other. The bride’s parents actively participate in a solemn giving away – the mother places her hand under the bride’s, whilst the father places his under the groom’s; the groom’s other hand is then placed beneath.
The Vows
The wedding vows, or Saptapadi, is thought to be the bringing together of two compatible souls. It involves seven mounds of rice, symbolizing seven steps together, or a journey. The first three mounds symbolize the part of the journey where the bride walks alone; from the fourth mound onward, the couple join hands and walk the rest of the way together. Yogita says, “For me, those vows were transcendental; the actual moment of joining together.”
When ancestors brought tradition – they also brought vows. One such vow, for the bride, was to be punctual in domestic duties, in order to avoid discomfort to her husband. This flummoxed Yogita, who had not heard about this particular vow until the wedding day, and who made it clear to the Pundit that she could not agree to it. She says, “ The Pundit did not know what to say to me at that point, so eventually I agreed to share domestic duties with my husband, and he happily agreed – he was relieved that I agreed to something.”
Memorable Moments
Sometimes, the most memorable moments are unplanned – often being the things that went wrong. Yogita recalls: “It was raining really heavily on the day, just as the barath (the groom and guests) were making their way to the venue, and a tree fell across the road. They were all stuck there, waiting for someone to clear the road. This happened close to where they were building a smelter; there was an alternative, forested road and the guard agreed to let only two cars go through. But Ramiz’s parents were left behind, and the wedding could not start without them; we waited two hours for all our guests to arrive.”
The Days Before
The engagement: In Gujarati tradition, the bride’s family sends gifts and sweets for the groom as well as his family. In this case, the bride’s brother was dispatched with gifts, including fruits, and money, to be presented to the groom. In return, the groom sends the ring.
Mehindi Night: This event was held a few days following the engagement. The bride invited only family and close friends – the people she wanted to feel very connected with. Celebrated Mehindi artist, Varsha Roodal, was at hand to provide intricate designs for guests. The bride’s sister and cousins organized dance rehearsals for this night, as a group among them were actually practicing to perform at the wedding.
Matikur Night: This night follows the Mehindi night. Some friends from Yogita’s dance class performed a dance medley, and Yogita recalls that the aftermath was like a scene from an Indian movie, where everyone just came out in impromptu song and dance – that strangely enough, seemed choreographed.
Laawa night: To celebrate, women and men gather to cook dinner for this night and prepare for the following day. Apart from food preparation, one of the main rituals is the “parching of the laawa.” Laawa (rice paddy), is heated on a flame – the same happens at the groom’s house – and there is a little competition to see who parches the first or most – the saying goes that if the groom’s parches first the bride’s won’t parch, and vice versa.
- Published in Real Weddings
Let’s Cruise My Love!
Nichola and Dion got married on the Tobago Princess (day cruiser). The boat is famed for its scenic coastal trips to Bon Accord Lagoon, No Man’s Land and the Nylon Pool. The bride confided that Tobago is her secret love, and she wanted that fun wedding with a difference.
Attire
The bride wore a white two-in-one dress with lace and bead details; she’d spotted a dress just like it and fell in love with the idea. The dress was put together by The Bridal and Curtain Shoppe. Her mother added some finishing touches and sparkles to it. The white hair-fastener veil was handmade by the bride.
The groom wore a dark grey suit with a crisp, white French cuff shirt; the suit was tailor-made at Saville Row in St. James.
Cake
The couple opted for a beach-slippers-in-sand initialled cake to complement the beach theme. They felt that the relaxed, casual feel represented their vibe as a couple.
Food
The couple invited several relatives from abroad so it was important that they incorporate local cuisine. Their cocktail reception included samplings of roti, curry crab and dumpling, corn soup and cheeseburgers.
Music
The processional songs were Pachelbel’s Canon in D and Black Eyed Peas’ Let’s Get it Started; the soundtrack for first dance was Etta James’ At Last; the song for mother and son dance was Boyz II Men’s Mama; the father-daughter dance song was The Temptations’ My Girl.
Honeymoon
The couple opted for a Carnival Cruise Lines’ honeymoon, which best satisfied their need for a good mix of romance, adventure, sightseeing and relaxation. They went on a five day Western Caribbean cruise to Key West, Florida and Cozumel, Mexico.
- Published in Real Weddings
Pak-choi Fried Rice
Leftover rice is ideal to create a new dish. Think of cooked rice as a blank canvas upon which you can paint almost anything. You can turn this into salt fish fried rice, green onion fried rice, egg fried rice or vegetable fried rice using one or a combination of vegetables. In this case one vegetable was used.
INGREDIENTS
- 3 cups cooked rice
- 3 – 4 rashers of bacon, cut into small pieces
- 2 eggs, lightly beaten
- Salt and pepper to taste
- 1-2 tablespoons oil
- 1 tablespoon minced ginger
- 1 teaspoon chopped garlic
- Minced hot pepper to taste
- ½ teaspoon Chinese five-spice powder
- 2 heads Pak-Choy, chopped fine
- ¼ cup sliced green onions (scallions)
- white and green parts
Directions
- Spread bacon in a single layer in a cold pan and place on medium heat and let cook until it has rendered its fat. Drain bacon on kitchen paper and set aside
- Reduce heat and cook eggs. Chop eggs into small pieces and set aside
- Add oil to pan if necessary and raise heat to medium. When oil is hot again add ginger, garlic and pepper and fry for 1 minute
- Add rice and toss to mix and heat through
- Add spice powder along with salt to taste and Pak Choy and toss a couple of times or until Pak Choy turns a bright green
- Add bacon and eggs, give a final toss; remove from heat and serve hot garnished with green onions
Cynthia Nelson is the author and photographer of the best selling and award-winning Tastes Like Home – My Caribbean Cookbook. She teaches Broadcast Journalism and blogs at www.tasteslikehome.org
Write to her at: cynthia@tasteslikehome.org
- Published in Newlywed Kitchen
“Trini” Engagement with Arabic Influence
JoMarie and Jonas
Tradition
The bride-to-be wore a pair of earrings gifted by her parents together with her future in-laws in the spirit of the Arab tradition to be “dressed” in jewellery from both families; she received many heirlooms that night. The engagement ring was also put on for the first time since the “asking”.
Decor
The couple went with a Christmas theme, as the party was held one week before the celebration of the birth of Christ.
Food
There were an assortment of booths with Benihana stir-fry, and Arabic cuisine catered by Boomerang Catering. The couple also served Arabic sweets, cupcakes and fruits. Jenna Khal made a delicious two-tiered, vanilla cake with red poinsettias, and also crafted mini vanilla fondant cake boxes with inside rings and the couple’s initials on the outside.
- Published in Engagements
Who owns your wedding photos?
What rights do I have over my wedding photos? My photography contract says that my photographer owns them.
Many couples believe that because they are the subjects of the photos, or the ones who hired the photographer, they hold copyright over the wedding images. In fact, it’s just the opposite. Your photographer owns the photos; you do not.
This means that your photographer is free to sell, publish, Photoshop, and/or distribute your images, whilst your authorized use of said images is extremely limited.
The important thing is to know what you’re buying and to negotiate the terms.
Mostly, photographers allow you personal use. This means that you can store in an album and display to friends and family. Others agree to give you, apart from a specified amount of prints, a number of low-resolution images on a CD. They would ask you to pay additional fees for extra prints or high-resolution photos.
Many couples are surprised to know that they only get low-resolution digital photos, which makes it impossible for them to print more copies of the images, or design print photo albums on their own.
Additionally, couples would have to seek their photographer’s permission to submit photos to newspapers, magazines and/or e-zines.
But these are just default terms. You can try to negotiate your own contract with your photographer.
Be sure to ask about the amount of prints and high-resolution images you would receive, as well as the right to post images on social media and submit for editorial use. Read your contract carefully and know what you’re signing up for.
- Published in Editor's Q&A
Seating singles
We have several friends attending our reception, who don’t know our family and who may not know any of our guests. How should we seat them? Should we create a singles table?
Resist the urge to banish friends to a “singles” table, unless they all know each other. It makes more sense to put singles with trusted family members or persons that they’re familiar with. This would make them feel less self-aware and more included and at ease.
If your singles don’t know anyone at the event, and family members are not up to entertaining them on the day, mix them into your close circle of friends. You can accomplish this by splitting your friends into two or more groups and fitting these new faces into each group. Ask one friend to keep an eye on your “singles” to make sure they’re having fun.
Consider strategically placing “singles” amongst more outgoing and gregarious friends or guests, or persons they may have something in common with, or can warm up to.
Resist the urge to seat people together because you think they would be romantically compatible, unless you have the expressed permission of both parties beforehand. No one wants to be on a date they didn’t signed up for.
- Published in Editor's Q&A